Sudah Terlambat

Sekarang, sejuta kata maaf, setumpuk rasa sesal, dan seribu liter air mata sudah tidak berarti. Jatah yang Tuhan beri pun sudah habis. Mungkin memang cukup sekian saja. Perjalanan kita, dongeng kita, sandiwara kita. Tidak ada yang bisa memaksa sekarang. Hanya kedewasaan yang dibutuhkan. Percuma menyalahkan diri sendiri, percuma mencemburui, semuanya percuma, tidak akan merubah apapun, tidak akan membuat dia kembali, Dif, yang ada hanya akan membuatnya semakin menjauh. Ikhlaslah mulai sekarang, itu sangat diperlukan. Nantimu nggak akan datang, Dif. Nggak akan pernah. Hanya sekarang. Seandainya penjelasan-penjelasan itu diutarakan.... Ah, seandainya, kata itu, persetan. Sudahlah. Perjalananmu dimulai, Dif. Maksudku, perjalananmu tanpanya, sudah dimulai. Dia memiliki kehidupan diluar sana, sendiri. Permohonan-permohonanmu pun percuma, Dif. Dia sudah memilih. Dia sudah melangkah, pergi. Mendahuluimu. Melepaskanmu. Meninggalkanmu. Sendirian. Di tempat kalian.

Selamat jalan, S. Aku sangat mencintaimu.

Just... Not... Today.

Well, its Saturday nite and I'm here, in front of the monitor and writing. This is for you. You, the only you that make me feel a sensation of love or Idk what it is called. Maybe its useless if I keep writing, but dunno, just want. I know, I realize, its my fault, its me, who didn't know about your condition. Its me, who want you to care the most, Its me who want you to bla bla bla and bla bla bla to make bla bla bla. Too much desire. I mean my OWN desire, not yours. Maybe you have one, but I didn't realize. No, no its not you who didn't considerate, its me. Well I know, now, we are not in the same world, I know, really, I do. And I know this is just a wishful thinking that we might be in the same world (again), just wish, ignore it. You have a new spirit now, you have the new me, oh no no, you'll never have a new me, maybe hmm what its called, you have eeee the new thing that feeling your heart, each day. Ya maybe that phrase is more suitable. Hmm ya, S, I will always pray for your life. Hm, just know, I'm still there, ya, in our place hahaha I mean in your and my place, ya you know "us" is no more longer. I just, don't know how to say, well, I'm okay with this I mean yea I'm okay if you don't realize that I'm here, its ok, thats your choice. Its ok, I'm ok. I will be single-minded ehehe like you, but just not today maybe tomorrow or the other day the other year, I don't know, just not today like you did. No, actually, whenever you want to come home and explain everything, I'll listen. Ya, you know, thats just an if clause. And it seems like won't happen. Ya, too much day-dreaming, too much wishful thinking, too much that too much hahaha hmm congratulations hey you for forgetting me ehehehe its not I can't forget you but I don't want to forget you. Well, I've read those in your diary, and thank you then ehehe I'm glad to know that I crossed your mind for a sec, even for a sec to wrote those, yea, I'm glad. Thats it. Eeee you know, I still collect that little pieces of our memories eeee I mean your and my memories. Oh shit, I miss you, mas Radith.


well, I wish that we will be together, build up the love together, in the other place, someday... Yea, someday..

They come like angels o:)

Hey blogskyyy!!!! Gyaaaaa long time no write. Ohkay, the last time I wrote hmmm in July 2012 ya? Hahaha its 2013 already and single bells single bells single all the way, yea me and mas Radith are no longer anymore, we are friends (are you sure, Dif?) hahaha Idk what we are. Ehm, lately I was eee you know I got lost in myself. Idk, it seems like there is a problem inside mine, maybe about mas Radith that makes me lost, idk it seems like that, and everything is getting dark, more and more each day. Well, Idk how I will be without them.

Mbak Katarina, well she is my old sister, we were sister-ing (halah) since we were babies hahahaha

She came right when I need someone the most. Aaaaah how I love her:')

PowerRangers♥

Actually, they're my old friends, too. But we're to busy of our own problem. But last Monday, we were gather in a school hall and talked about sooooo many things (even though mine are the most:p) They came like angels o:)

ANALISA CREW. My classmates, how lucky I am to meet them. They're crazy but so touch haha they understand me, I mean we understand each other.

 Best friend are like stars. They may not be seen, but they'll always there.

Difratia.

P.S. Well, I might have promised you guys to post my 3rd and 4th day in Jekardah looooong time ago hahaha but it seems like I won't post it, so, stay curious:p

JEKARDAH a.k.a Jakarta (Day 1 & 2)

Hey there, its already July yaa:)
Happy July all^o^
Well, I've been home after 4 or 5days holiday in Jakarta. Actually, my goal there is visit my cousin that will hahaha sunat:) but yaaah you know, it'll be useless if we aren't go anywhere. So, the first day I arrived at Jkt, I stayed in Ragunan, its my grandma's house. Then, my auntie that worked in Universitas Indonesia asked me to go with her. She said that there was a new library, and we decided to go there. Eeeer before that, hahaha I went to Jkt by train and it was amazing, I met Al-Azhar JHS students and also the crew of ehmm apaya, it was just like hikers maybe, they were all wear black shirt and ya they were ah-mazing, too:) then, when I arrived at Stasiun Madiun, I heard the poters yelled "pecel Madiun pecel Madiun" and wkwkw I and my auntie glanced at each other and decided to buy it. Its only 3,000 rupiahs:Dv and my auntie said when we arrived at Stasiun Yogyakarta we had to buy sego kucing hahaha and my sister added that we had to buy gudeg too! But, that happened was we passed Stasiun Yogyakarta-_- we were sleep-_- Haaaaah.
Then, back to UI, we couldn't take a look inside the library, we just took a pict outside the building.

me, celebrate the late birthday from my auntie

presents. From Eing and Bapak for the Jakarta's people haha

me, wearing a sweater of mas Radith:)

me, and my cousin--Cheryl.

Science Park, Universitas Indonesia

After that, I came back home and get ready for moving to Gadog and stayed there for a night. There, I met my Tante Shari hahaha finally, bcs she had been there for 4 or 3 days before me, so she said, "comeee ooooon hurry up to get there, I all alone here, I'm bored" bahahahaha

and I also visited the grave of Tante Martha (Pakdhe Mocas' wife)

actually, I stayed for a night in Pakdhe Mocas' house in Gadog.

me, with Pakdhe Mocas:)

After stayed a night in Gadog, the second day I came back to Ragunan and we were going to go to Thamrin City and Grand Indonesia. Heard about Grand Indonesia, the first thing that crossed in my mind is, Magnum Cafe. But, I can't go there:( Yah, you know lah the traffic jam of Jakarta, it was just like my love for mas Radith, stuck on it hahahaha Imagined! For parking, just parking we have to go around Grand Indonesia twice! Hah!-_-

In Grand Indonesia, actually there were soooo many Japanese and Korean restaurant, but I can't obtrude myself to go there bcs I was there with my aunties, maybe they can't eat kind of food like that, but I really really want to try that. So hmm, I went to Grand Indonesia to watch "Air Mancur Menari" yaa my uncle said that, but, how lucky were we, there were a show called "Shopping Wonderland" that show was about Alice and Wonderland, and they sang, dance, and yaa played drama, and their basic was ballet. They're so cool, not only girls but also a boys in that show. I also visited Gramedia (of course), and my auntie said that Gramedia Grand Indonesia is the largest in Indonesia, but I ever heard the largest Gramedia is in Surabaya, well it was confusing-_- and I also try Häagen-Dazs.

   From left: Eyang Topo, Tante Shari, Hans, Diska, me, Onik

Jakarta! From Thamrin City 

mas Radith, this is for you:p

that was Air Mancur Menari!

I will post the third and fourth day in Jakarta in the next post ehehehe

See yaa in the next post!

Xoxo,

Difratia.

A birthday girl

Hey blogsky, long time no write hahaha whassup?:D
Well I'm 16 today yeaaay^^v and it almost over, I mean the June 25th. But, I really want to say, AH TODAY WAS AH-MAZING! SUPER AH-MAZING. Seriously. Tahun ini gue emang sengaja nggak pake traktiran traktiran segala haha disamping budget yang tidak memadahi, gue juga pengin sekali aja dapet surprise dari orang22 terdekat. Awalnya gue emang ngarep banget, serius deh. Terus pas tau udah deket-deket hari H, nggak ada tanda-tanda, yaudah deh. Legowo aja, apa kata tanggal 25 gitu lah;)
Terus pas kemarin hahaha jam 00:00, serius jam segitu, mas Radithku dateng ke rumah, DATENG KE RUMAH! SERIUS! *sengaja diulang*
Awalnya dia telfon dan gue sedikit eee nggak percaya gitu lah, sampe dia bilang "Ah kesuen" (Ah kelamaan) dan gue sibakkan *ceilah* tirai jendela, dan menemukan sosok scoopink di depan pager AAAAAAAAAAAAA:' speechless sumpah. Mana pake acara keluar keluar gitu ini air dari mata heran deh, terus dia bawain kue tart gitu sambil aaaaaaaaaa yaampun serius semaleman itu so sweet abis gila!!!!! Gue seneng serius, aaaa makasih mas Radithku:3
Then, he asked me to make a wish and blow the candles:)
Terus dia kasih gue something gitu, this

and he said that it is his handmade ceilaaaah gaya beud gue dapet handmade dari kaka Radith:3
Tapi dia nggak lama-lama, midnight gitu soalnya, iya kalo di kota-kota besar as Jekardah or Bandung or somewhere its ok, but here it isn't our habbit gitu lah istilahnya;)
Paginya pas gue buka yaallah:'D its unbelievable isinya. Ehm gue nggak share deh biar penasaran lo, blogwalkers:p
Ini rahasia antara gue, mas Radith, dan Tuhan. Padahal aslinya orang rumah semuanya tau hahaha dan mungkin orang rumah mas Radith juga tau hahah and well, today I met his mom and eeeeeeee undefine, serius gue salting tadi pas dia bilang "Mah, iki loh sing ulang tahun" (Mah, ini loh yang ulang tahun) and his mom said ulang tahun ke berapa dan bla bla bla pokoknya gue seneng!!!!!!!!:D :D :D

Terus siangnya, mas Radith ke rumah, dan gue cerita sama dia kalo Dhaifi, Devyn sm Nanda nggak ngucapin happy birthday, padahal di sekolah tadi ketemu. Iya I know kalian pasti pada bingung kenapa gue masih menulis kata sakral 'sekolah' ini kan hahaha gue udah libur kok;) tapi masih ngurus KRS (Kartu Rencana Studi) jadi masih harus sekolah. Ehm back to topic, di sekolah tadi gue ketemu seriusan! Dan temen-temen banyak yang ngucapin happy birthday gitu ke gue di depan Dhaifi, eh tapinya dia malah datar gitu ekspresinya, nyebelin!!!!
Tapi, sekitaran jam 1, gila mereka bertiga dateng ke rumah dan *plok* nyeplokin telor di kepala terus disiram tepung-_- gitu mas Radith juga nggak kasih tanda apa-apa, gila emang hahaha masuk ekstra teater ajadeh mereka pada bakat akting:p
dan alhasil, gue bau amiiiiiiiiiiis banget terus disiram air di depan rumah gitu, sampe heboh deh pokoknya, tetangga-tetangga juga pada keluar sambil ketawa ketiwi gitu haha snaaap!

Mereka juga nggak lama sih di rumah, sebentar doang habis makan terus langsung pulang hiks mas Radith juga gitu soalnya harus bantu mamahnya di acara SEMIPRO. Jadi SEMIPRO itu eee kinda activity like MTD or JFC or something, tapi ini di Probolinggo. SEMIPRO itu kepanjangannya, SEMINGGU DI PROBOLINGGO, keren kan? Abis! Jadi acaranya itu kaya pamer budaya-budayanya Probolinggo gitu ehehehe
then, malemnya gue diajakin dia ke museum buat ngeliat barang-barang di museum gitu soalnya besok dia ikutan lomba nulis, ngedeskripsiin barang di museum itu. Jadilah kita kesana dan ngobrol banyak. Well I think the best way to talk to someone, everyone deh pokonya itu on a motorcycle, I think. Bcs I always have a good conversation with my mom, with mas Radith or bapak ya on motorcycle, even though we have to repeat what we are saying but its ok, its efficient than just sitting in the house or something ehehehe
lanjut, habis dari sana dia ngajakin gue makan sate bekicot, serius its disgusting hahaha gue nggak berani makan awalnya, tapi ngeliat the way he ate rasanya itu super delicious gitu akhirnya gue mao nyoba, rasanya aneh._. Tapi yaaa, good enough laah:)
Habis dari situ, kita floating. Do you know guys bout floating?:p 
Its our secret hahaha wek
Pas pulang, aaaaaaa menyenangkan yaa we had a good talk gitu lah during the way to my house. Aaaa seneng banget deh pokoknya hari ini, even though banyak yang lupa sama ulangtahun gue meski udah dipampang gede-gede di facebook haha but its ok:) yang penting orang-orang terdekat masih inget:)
And well, maybe you guys are confused why I haven't write lately. Yaa bcs I designed to make this month with one post, yaa ini the one and only:D
and finally, all of my dreams come true hakakaakaka
AAAAAAAAAAAAAH I LOVE THIS DAY. Its really unforgettable day:3 :3

mas Radith dan sate bekicot

one of the things that I met in da museum. Great right?;)

From my bee:)

Thanks God for giving me life today, I love you.
And also thanks for giving me Ibuk-Bapak-Diska, Dhaifi-Devyn-Nanda, and also mas Radith, bless them all. 


Difratia--A birthday girl.