Sudah Terlambat

Sekarang, sejuta kata maaf, setumpuk rasa sesal, dan seribu liter air mata sudah tidak berarti. Jatah yang Tuhan beri pun sudah habis. Mungkin memang cukup sekian saja. Perjalanan kita, dongeng kita, sandiwara kita. Tidak ada yang bisa memaksa sekarang. Hanya kedewasaan yang dibutuhkan. Percuma menyalahkan diri sendiri, percuma mencemburui, semuanya percuma, tidak akan merubah apapun, tidak akan membuat dia kembali, Dif, yang ada hanya akan membuatnya semakin menjauh. Ikhlaslah mulai sekarang, itu sangat diperlukan. Nantimu nggak akan datang, Dif. Nggak akan pernah. Hanya sekarang. Seandainya penjelasan-penjelasan itu diutarakan.... Ah, seandainya, kata itu, persetan. Sudahlah. Perjalananmu dimulai, Dif. Maksudku, perjalananmu tanpanya, sudah dimulai. Dia memiliki kehidupan diluar sana, sendiri. Permohonan-permohonanmu pun percuma, Dif. Dia sudah memilih. Dia sudah melangkah, pergi. Mendahuluimu. Melepaskanmu. Meninggalkanmu. Sendirian. Di tempat kalian.

Selamat jalan, S. Aku sangat mencintaimu.

Just... Not... Today.

Well, its Saturday nite and I'm here, in front of the monitor and writing. This is for you. You, the only you that make me feel a sensation of love or Idk what it is called. Maybe its useless if I keep writing, but dunno, just want. I know, I realize, its my fault, its me, who didn't know about your condition. Its me, who want you to care the most, Its me who want you to bla bla bla and bla bla bla to make bla bla bla. Too much desire. I mean my OWN desire, not yours. Maybe you have one, but I didn't realize. No, no its not you who didn't considerate, its me. Well I know, now, we are not in the same world, I know, really, I do. And I know this is just a wishful thinking that we might be in the same world (again), just wish, ignore it. You have a new spirit now, you have the new me, oh no no, you'll never have a new me, maybe hmm what its called, you have eeee the new thing that feeling your heart, each day. Ya maybe that phrase is more suitable. Hmm ya, S, I will always pray for your life. Hm, just know, I'm still there, ya, in our place hahaha I mean in your and my place, ya you know "us" is no more longer. I just, don't know how to say, well, I'm okay with this I mean yea I'm okay if you don't realize that I'm here, its ok, thats your choice. Its ok, I'm ok. I will be single-minded ehehe like you, but just not today maybe tomorrow or the other day the other year, I don't know, just not today like you did. No, actually, whenever you want to come home and explain everything, I'll listen. Ya, you know, thats just an if clause. And it seems like won't happen. Ya, too much day-dreaming, too much wishful thinking, too much that too much hahaha hmm congratulations hey you for forgetting me ehehehe its not I can't forget you but I don't want to forget you. Well, I've read those in your diary, and thank you then ehehe I'm glad to know that I crossed your mind for a sec, even for a sec to wrote those, yea, I'm glad. Thats it. Eeee you know, I still collect that little pieces of our memories eeee I mean your and my memories. Oh shit, I miss you, mas Radith.


well, I wish that we will be together, build up the love together, in the other place, someday... Yea, someday..

They come like angels o:)

Hey blogskyyy!!!! Gyaaaaa long time no write. Ohkay, the last time I wrote hmmm in July 2012 ya? Hahaha its 2013 already and single bells single bells single all the way, yea me and mas Radith are no longer anymore, we are friends (are you sure, Dif?) hahaha Idk what we are. Ehm, lately I was eee you know I got lost in myself. Idk, it seems like there is a problem inside mine, maybe about mas Radith that makes me lost, idk it seems like that, and everything is getting dark, more and more each day. Well, Idk how I will be without them.

Mbak Katarina, well she is my old sister, we were sister-ing (halah) since we were babies hahahaha

She came right when I need someone the most. Aaaaah how I love her:')

PowerRangers♥

Actually, they're my old friends, too. But we're to busy of our own problem. But last Monday, we were gather in a school hall and talked about sooooo many things (even though mine are the most:p) They came like angels o:)

ANALISA CREW. My classmates, how lucky I am to meet them. They're crazy but so touch haha they understand me, I mean we understand each other.

 Best friend are like stars. They may not be seen, but they'll always there.

Difratia.

P.S. Well, I might have promised you guys to post my 3rd and 4th day in Jekardah looooong time ago hahaha but it seems like I won't post it, so, stay curious:p